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My iPhone Don’t Rodeo!

June 12, 2012

So after nearly a 10 year history of being mad at Apple (due to an iBook dying one week after my extended warranty expired) I finally broke down and bought an iPhone. I took my personel vendetta against Apple very seriously, almost to the extreme that I was “too cool” to buy an iPhone. My Crackberry suited me just fine and I didn’t have to worry about shattering the screen or paying for any extra insurance plans and it fit well in my bra when I rode. I may have been the last barrel racer on the planet without an iPhone, a reality that became even more clear after setting my phone up on the ledge of the fence with 15 other iPhones at a barrel race. Since I was taking the plunge, I decided why not go all “in”. A iPhone 4S was the choice and I have never been more excited. I talked with Siri a lot and quickly came to the conclusion that beyond the comedic relief she offered when repeating profanities, she had one major “hole.” It turns out… Siri… is not a barrel racer, let alone a cowgirl!

What?

Why was this not disclosed to me in my purchase?

Maybe the people at Apple just don’t understand why this is important! Well let me tell you! If you try to tell Siri

“I’m up in Slack”… she thinks you say “I’ve been Slack”
“Are they going to do a big drag”…. “Thinking to do a big drive”
“I changed his bit”…. “I changed his bed”
“I washed a bunch of Polos”… “I washed a bunch of hello”
“The Derby starts after the Futurity”…. “The Derby starts after the Paternity”
“I really like that Dash Ta Fame Colt”…”I really like that “-” to fame call”
“That colts a little broncy”…. “That Colts litte Bronte” (I don’t even know what that means)
“When is he due to get shod again”… “Linsay do to get shot again”
“He was a little ratey”…. “He was a little Rady”… (who is Rady?)

… and my favorite!!!!
“I never get a Perf”…. “I never get a perv”

I swear though, she is learning. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but she barely knew the word “Rodeo” when I first got her and now, she spells it correctly everytime!

Love you Siri… You will be a cowgirl someday soon!

I would love to hear your personal iphone fails… so comment away!

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5 Comments
  1. Corey permalink

    Well you would not have been the last barrel racer without an iphone as sadly, I do not have one LOL! I do have a droid bionic which I love, even if there is no Siri to provide comic relief! Someday, I will probably break down and get an Iphone, but then I will have to send it to you to get it “broke” so it will know all of my commands! LOL 🙂

  2. Corey permalink

    PS. Thank you for finally writing again!! I miss these!

  3. Love you Corey… I would love to train your iPhone lol

  4. Arlene Karma permalink

    I still have not gotten an iPhone but alas I have broken down and have decided to get on in September when I renew my contract. But mine will be more so that I can have someone video my runs at the barrel race!! You know the important things…oh yeah and so I can have more info in my contacts area for my clients. At least that is a work related reason…LOL

  5. Karen permalink

    Great to read you again! And you have given me further reason to stick with my Blackberry. I could not tollerate a phone that can’t comprehend horse talk! It sounds so much better then the real reason…that I can’t comprehend how to use one! :>)

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