“What’s so important about going around 3 barrels anyways? Who cares who does it the fastest!”
If you haven’t heard this conversation in your head, or you have never talked a friend out of quitting (even if you really knew they never intended to quit anyways. This is usual the case with me.) then you just haven’t been around the sport long enough.
As you may already know, I’m a competitive person. I make everything in life a challenge. I’m the person at the wedding showers that shouts at the top of her lungs when she wins the stupid prize from the dollar store. Tastefully of course, in a more dorky, than obnoxious way. All of this amounts to the fact that I take myself a little too seriously!
The challenges I face in life have a reoccurring theme of extremely high expectations, followed by hours of preparation, and then acceptance of the outcome. I have done this for years, over and over and over again. It is a great path and it has gotten me to a place in life where I feel extremely blessed. But let me tell you folks, it is exhausting. Sometimes I think, “Did I really sign myself up for this?” Of course the answer is always, “Yes.” Followed by, “But would you have it any other way?” Followed by, “No” Then it happens, that little voice in my head says, “Well then stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the job done.”
While on the way home the other day from a race, I was telling a friend that mediocrity may be the way to go. To heck with all these high expectations. I ran through the options. If I didn’t have all these dreams, I could travel, lay out on a beach on a tropical island, or I could own a boat. I was thinking average wasn’t too bad. Really if you wanted the majority opinion, then the average person is going to think you’re doing pretty good. While talking to her about my dreams, she said to me, “You can’t give up. While you’re giving up, there’s someone else out there trying to figure out how to win.” It was just enough to spark my interest. She knew exactly the perfect thing to say. All I needed was to think that there was someone out there who was currently conspiring to beat me. It was like a breath of fresh air, the wind under my wings. This friend is often a voice of reason in my temporary bought of self-pity and insanity. The reality is that sometimes, you’re not a Quitter and sometimes you’re not a winner, sometimes you’re just stuck in the middle. My goal is to get out of the middle and never Quit.
I think the secret is figuring yourself out and then going with it. Find something inspiring and think about it every time you start to lose strength. I recently witnessed a music video the other day that brought some true clarity. I saw it circulate on Facebook for about two days before I actually took a look. I wish I would have seen it sooner. It has everything in it that summarizes what makes me tick. Love. Horses. Determination. Grit. Innocence. Try.
P.S. If you know anything about the kids in this video, please comment. They are wonderful in this video. I heard they are from the North Texas area.